August 7, 2017

44 Thoughts I Had While Watching Life Of Kylie Series Premiere

  1. "Nobody has a perfect life" well clearly you are nobody Kylie. 
  2. Kylie, the only thing out of the ordinary about you isn't that you JUST have nice things. 
  3. This blue wig is actually slaying my existence right now. 
  4. Thank god I am not the only girl who shaves my toe, Kylie does too guys. 
  5. "I FOUND HIM ON INSTAGRAM." Bitch find me on Instagram @kuwcoco 
  6. My passion is makeup too, where is my makeup line now? 
  7. Girl, I need makeup too.
  8. I feel horrible, I try to always force myself to drive my Lambo too but I just keep forgetting.
  9. "Victoria, can you like just pet the dogs or something?" Victoria, can I steal your job? 
  10. ALBERT you are precious. 
  11. Jordyn, how tf do you have Albert's mothers phone number? 
  12. Another similarity, Kylie and I are both outcasts.
  13. "Posting a selfie is just really hard, it’s a lot of pressure and it just needs to be perfect." SAME.
  14. "I have never worn a prom dress before." Kylie feel free to borrow my Sherri Hill prom dress, I will happily take your Yeezy's & 2017 Met Gala gown. 
  15. "I was homeschooled." ANOTHER SIMILARITY. 
  16. Oh jk, you missed school because of work, I missed school because of Lymes Disease.
  17. "You're going to be prom queen." Not sure how that’s possible if you don't attend the school though.
  18. "Jordyn, you got cash?" Wait Kylie, you don’t carry around money? 
  19. These pre tied ties should be mandatory for every male under the age of 30.  
  20. "All planes are pretty." Yep especially the ones where I fly alone with my squad.
  22. "Its fucking blue" well at least your plane doesn’t say JetBlue. 
  23. I would just hate to get full glam on my blue private plane. 
  24. Can Tokyo be mine? I need someone to take my hair from 0 to 100000 in less then an hour. 
  25. Hey Albert, nice to meet you, my squad and me are taking over your prom because we all just really wanted to always go to one. 
  26. "Sorry we kept you waiting, we just had some plane problems." First world problems. 
  27. Kylie, I am so excited that you are so excited for prom. Now can I steal your next big red carpet invite? 
  28. Poses through the pain. SAME.
  29. Poses when I cant put the flower on your suit. SAME
  30. Kylie you absolutely were not in dress code. 
  31. Kylie trying to low key go to prom, WITH A DAMN CAMERA CREW AND ENTIRE SQUAD. Not sure how that worked out in your head. 
  32. "It reminds me that I am Kylie fucking Jenner." Well you are sooooo.
  33. Kylie Jenner goes to prom. Tries not to take attention away from her poor date. Again, not sure how that worked out in your head. 
  34. If you are on the floor above prom, are you even at prom? 
  35. Kylie dances with squad, poor Albert is now secluded from him prom and hanging out with strangers.
  36. Halle Berry looks like Nicole Murphy? 
  37. Kylie is actually I when my bestie says he has more then one friend. Bitch, you have one friend and her name is Nicole Ann Mauceri. 
  38. Please. Someone put down a step stool every time I get out of my matte black Mercedes truck.
  39. Oddly enough, I feel like I am invading Kylie's privacy by watching her therapy session. 
  40. "Its fine, a lot of people have it worse then me." Yep, remember that Kylie.
  41. I will gladly give up going to the beach if I could literally live in Kylie's shoes for a week. 
  42. Its very clear Kylie & Jordyn haven’t been to the beach in a while, they are both wearing sneakers. 
  44. Damn, Donatella on my right and Ryan Reynolds & Blake Lively on my left. I’m going to NYFW; can we make that happen for me? 

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